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Line King scowls with disdain at troublesome SEC slate

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(RNN) - The Line King hates to break this to all of you $EC worshippers (and to Death Star Commissioner, His Excellency Mike Slive), but Alabama's opponent in this year's mythical BC$ Championship Game in Miami will come from the Big 12. It will not be another $EC team and The Line King isn't too sure that Alabama can win against the class of that league.

Hopefully, some of you have been paying attention to other games and not exclusively pondering which tramp stamp to give your girlfriend for her birthday (if she already doesn't have one). I'm telling you, West Virginia is good, really good.

The jury might still be out on Kansas State, but at least 10 of the $EC teams – no, make that EVERY $EC team – would kill to have Collin Klein lead their offense. Circle Oct. 20 on your calendar and pull yourself away from the various $EC worship boards or ESPN3 and tune in when these two worlds collide.

Oh, did anyone else beside The Line King notice that Conference USA is abysmal? Does anyone care? And with a win this weekend against Texas A&M, Louisiana Tech could start campaigning for a BC$ slot and they would be better than at least one automatic qualifying team and half the upper-tiered bowl teams. Nobody has been able to stop them.

And sadly, once again, The Line King gets up on the The Man only to be kicked back into reality with a weekend that resembled an Insane Wrestling Federation bloodbath. But this is where the weak fall by the wayside and the winners pour another one and forge on.

Oct. 6, 2012

Auburn at Mississippi (-5.5), 12:21 p.m. ET, SEC Network

Ever wonder what would happen when a stoppable force collides with a moveable object? We will find out this Saturday afternoon. Some sort of football black hole might form on the Grove during this mess, but don't be alarmed-  you can always turn to ESPN and watch whatever equally bad Big 10 game is being forced down our throats. And it has become obvious that the $EC Network gets the last choice of games to televise. If you have to watch this one, take the Black Bears and call 1-800-I-Need-Help.

No. 1 Alabama at Missouri (+22), 3:30 p.m. ET, CBS

This is a frightening game. First, because Tide fans will stumble into Columbia loud and proud and proclaiming themselves Champions of the World and second, because the forecast calls for mid-60s and showers. Nothing good can happen when a cold, wet, liquored-up Crimson Tide crowd rolls into town, all tattooed up and looking for trouble. Which is an interesting point to consider moving forward – Columbia truly will be a weather stop in late October and November, it's something to keep an eye on. Bammer laid an egg - sort of - against Mississippi (who wouldn't overlook Mississippi?) and the Mizzou crowd will be fired up again. Twenty-two points seem like a lot for a home team. Maybe the Georgia game scared off some Mizzou backers and the Red Horde buries Vegas every week with insane plays. Tigers +22.

No. 4 Florida (-7.5) at Vanderbilt, 6 p.m. ET, ESPNU

Florida has won 10 straight games in Nashvegas – by an average of 20 points. This is a different Florida, however, the Gators do seem to loosen up on the road. The Vandy fan still is clinging to the outside chance he ends up in Shreveport in December. They do still have Mississippi on their schedule - so there is hope, but his team doesn't cover this weekend.

Kentucky (+17.5) at Arkansas, 7 p.m. ET, ESPN3

You know it's sad when both teams have each other circled on their schedules and can't even make the $EC Network. ESPN3 is where bad games go to die. Heck, the UT-San Antonio at Rice game has a more interesting storyline. Arkansas will probably be looking ahead to the big match-up next week with Mississippi, so take the Cats – they haven't covered all year and are bound to come through one week.

No. 3 South Carolina (+2.5) at No. 9 LSU, 8 p.m. ET, ESPN

Seriously? No. 9? Easily the most overrated team in the country, L$U has absolutely ZERO offense. And The Line King means like "absolute zero," and that is less than just plain zero. Their defense is stellar, but it's on the field for three-quarters of the game and they are only 63-60 ATS at home, so don't fall for that Death Valley myth. South Carolina is playing like they are already the $EC East champion. The last time they played each other, L$U limited the Gamefowl to 39 yards rushing – it'll take holding them to -9 yards and cutting off their comb and wattle to have any chance in this one. Take the 2.5 and happily throw your visor on the ground.

Tennessee at No. 19 Mississippi State (-3), 9 p.m. ET, ESPN2

Big Orange crashed back to earth and not surprisingly, all hotel rooms for the Music City Bowl in Nashville were booked shortly after. Mississippi State has lost six straight games to Tennessee and The Line King thinks this might be the year to stop that streak. A win here and cover puts the Bulldogs in the hunt for a much-coveted warm-weather bowl game – like Orlando or Tampa.

No. 22 Texas A&M at No. 23 Louisiana Tech (+8), 9 p.m. ET, ESPNU

Wow, if A&M had lost last week in Oxford, The Line King would have asked that the Aggies suffer immediate expulsion from the $EC Death Star. They might have asked for it themselves. They didn't lose, but a lot of flaws were exposed in Kevin Sumlin's young team. Nobody, and that means NOBODY has come remotely close to stopping LaTech. The Line King's good friend Tony Franklin has made a living building offensive machines – with the exception of one stuck-in-the-past-run-every-play $EC team. Take the Bulldogs and enjoy the magic.

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